Sunday, 23 March 2008

More pub quotes:

Dave: Its a full moon out tonight, thats probably why I feel so unsettled.

Tanya: Why's that then?

Dave: Coz i'm a pagan!

Tanya: Thats ok! Gez is an Aries!


During a conversation about tindaloo and vindaloo and which one is hottest:

Leah: I thought Tindaloo was the same as Vindaloo...but in a tin!

Friday, 21 March 2008

Limestone cowboy....

I work in this pub and you hear so many stupid or funny quotes every day - here is the one that stuck with me this past couple of days when a couple of the regulars tried to explain to another guy what limestone was.

Guy that doesnt know what it is: "Isn't it like acidic, its like, limes..."

Other guy: "Its not a fruit, you know..not like A lime..."

Guy that doesn't know what it is: "What is it then...??" *looks confused*

Other guy: "Limestone, weeeeeeell, you know...its like a big bag of cocaine, but if you snort it, you die!"

Guy that doesn't know what it is: "Oooookay then....that clears that up..."

So folks. Limestone. Its like a big bag of cocaine. But if you snort it; you die.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

She Buys me flowers.

She buys me flowers.

She buys me lilies, in fact.

Chocolates, tartlets, creams

And dreams;

She brings me dreams.

Bottled sealed and sent –

My scent!

The smell of fear...

The smell of success –


Success, born of fear

Faced, chased, misplaced

And laced

With tiny imperfections

Sweetest interjections

Masking all emotions

Never to be found?

Never to be found…

She buys me flowers.

She buys me lilies, in fact.

She buys me flowers.

Drink drivers suck cock

Just one more Guiness then he’s gone

Just one more Guiness, genius.

One more

Slowly poured

Settled and scored


Just the one

Then he’s gone.

Car keys

Cell phone


Just the one.

Just the ONE.

Every ten minutes

Every “last” one

Then the ONE for that ROAD; Genius.





Just the one.

JUST the one.

Explainations at the station

In the morning, when its done.


Monday, 18 February 2008

I apparently have this blog thing!

I'm not sure if i'll actually use it, but seeing as I like talking to myself, who knows....