Saturday, 4 January 2014

New Year and Hope for 2014

I know this is a little late but it is another New Year and I am now quite a few in... 34 New Years, to be exact and not all of them happy ones, although many were great and others spectacular I was happy to see this one in, in my sleep!

My husband and I completely missed New Years Eve this year and neither of us really missed it a bit. I would have slept all night if it wasn't for the loud fireworks, which woke me up and scared my dog half to death, but at least in my moment of being awake I remembered a silent toast to my dearly departed dad who was Scottish and always loved to see the New Year in with a drink or two and always let us stay up to celebrate it with him!

When I was younger we lived in a house right next to a dockyard and so at midnight you would hear all of the boats that had been docked there at that moment sounding their horns and making a gloriously eerie-but-celebratory noise at midnight to make sure that you knew the clock had turned and a new year was in full swing. I miss those nights and they are now sadly less than the many I have spent without them.

I have no real desire to go and party on New Years Eve - I think it actually is one of those holidays that puts a LOT of pressure onto people to have a good time and it really shouldn't be. I am usually glad to have made it to the end of another year and to be able to start afresh with the new one and humbled by it as I look back at whatever befell us the one before. I am, of course, always very happy to have my family under one roof with me to see it in [or to sleep through it] and to know that what I have here is enough.

This year, as I jumped over to 2014, I gave a little thought in the daytime to how 2013 treated us and I think that "could have been better" is an understatement. I also think that we made our beds and jumped right into them and so whatever went terribly wrong that year was probably due to our lack of foresight as a whole, but everything is always better when hindsight comes into play, I'm sure! 

We went into 2013 with renewed hope after finding my husbands estranged bio dad, who ended up living with us for 7 months, turned out to be a waste of space, wrecked our apartment and pretty much spent every penny we had on things he messed up - like our car. I couldn't take him in our space anymore and he, in short, had to go. It didn't end well and I don't regret that but I do wish things had been different because for sure, my husband deserves better blood. Thankfully, family is a lot more than blood and he only needs the dad he has and not the one he was missing.

A few wonderful things happened in 2013, which evened out a lot of the bad. I saw my mother for the first time in almost 5 years, which thrilled me to no end and it was wonderful to have had that opportunity! I love her dearly and I am hoping not to leave it quite so long next time!

Of course, 2013 was a very busy year for our family as we added a new baby, Bronson, who is now 3.5 months old! We had to see him into the world and straight to the NICU, which was a dampener on the whole thing, but it made me appreciate him a whole lot more, especially seeing him in there with some of those other tiny little babies fighting to get themselves out of there and home where they belonged with their parents.

I have learned not to take anything for granted, which I rarely do, anyway, but I definitely had that swung home to me the past year as we've struggled as a family through the tough times and laughed through the good.

I do look towards 2014 as a year to rebuilt, gather and progress with our lives without hangers-on, without the weight of the world on our shoulders, with a little more of a relaxed outlook on what life might have in store for us and....with no more babies! Of course, more babies would never be a terrible thing but we are running out of room in the car!

I do not have any resolutions for the year, but that is mostly because I break them before they even begin, but I would like to get a grip on my weight, get my book written and also just learn to let things go a little more. Less drinking would be fabulous and more education would be a plus, and I would like very much to finish a few books and pieces of poetry, which I have been meaning to read for the longest of times!

Just this morning, in fact, I finished "The Importance of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde, which had been out there for over a hundred years and never once crossed my path! Between that and The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, I am 2 for 2 already and we're not even a week in.

I do look forward to 2014 and its ups and downs [of which I am sure there will be many] and will deal with each with a smile and a little less stress than the last!

I hope you all have a wonderful 2014 and that many niceties come your way. Hold your head up and look out for your and yours this year! We're not all done for, yet!

Happy New Year! 

1 comment:

Sue Bailey said...

Great overview of the last year for you, wishing you health and happiness for the coming year and eagerly awaiting new blogs from yourself with great things to try!